just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
