Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Farmville is her only friend.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize