does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
