PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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