Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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