Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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