it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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