Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
