If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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