i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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