is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
