I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
