I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize