I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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