Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
