Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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