my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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