I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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