Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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