I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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