Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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