theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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