This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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