I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
