Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I love you.
Bad choice
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
