Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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