He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
