im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
