Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
