i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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