i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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