miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
