If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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