just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
