yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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