The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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