True but thats because hes a fetus.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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