i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
