I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
