Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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