community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
