somebody snuck up and got me drunk
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
