I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
