Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
