just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
