Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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