So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
