so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
