He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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