Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
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