I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize