We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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