the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize