I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wish I only lived at night.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
