just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
