I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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