My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
