I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
