why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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