i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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