We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
