He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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